Every Preschooler’s Dilemma: To
Share or Not to Share
Teaching your child how to share
can be a frustrating process for you as a parent. After all, we want our children to be nice & generous
with their peers. However, it is often
a tough concept for young ones to learn, but a very important social skill that
should not be avoided. It is difficult for children to think beyond the
immediate future, and most do not have a very good grasp of time. Having to patiently wait their turn,
while watching another child play with their toy is hard. “Preschoolers are
just learning that it feels good to give and that it’s fun to share with
friends,” says Roni Leiderman, associate dean of the Family Center at Nova
Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. As parents, we can help this process by beginning to talk
about the importance of sharing, celebrating their generosity, and gently
discouraging the times when they are a little less apt to share.
Helpful Steps To Take:
Make Sharing Fun: There are many activities you can do with your child that will
positively reinforce their ability to share. Participate in a project together around the house, such as
baking a cake. Start by taking turns
with the ingredients, which not only teaches them patience while it’s your
turn, but also how to share with the necessary steps. At the end you have a wonderful treat, and had fun while
doing it. Other activities could
include putting a puzzle together by taking turns with the pieces, or playing a
cooperative game that leads to a common goal for the both of you. While at school, incorporate the
concept of sharing by sending stickers for your child to give to all of their
friends. Something as small as
this instills the love of giving teaching them that is fun to share!
Use Positive Reinforcement: It is natural for
a child to be impulsive with their sharing habits, however, how we react to
them when they are reluctant to share can make all the difference in the world.
Disciplining your child verbally, or forcing them to give over a toy they are insisting
on keeping, can cause resentment instead of generosity. “To encourage sharing, use positive
reinforcement rather than admonishment,” Leiderman says. When your child does decide to share,
praise them with your words, letting them know how proud that makes you. There are times when your child will
want to hold back on certain items, such as a brand new toy, or one that holds
a special place in their heart. This
is completely normal at this age, and it’s ok for them to hold onto some toys
tighter than others. Help them to
choose some toys that they are willing to share with others, and set aside the
special ones. As your child grows, they will come to realize how fun it is to
play with their toys and their friends, and will begin to show more consistency
with their sharing habits.
Be Their Rold Model: Your child is
observing you, and when they see that you share, it makes a strong impression
upon them, and in turn, they will begin to do so as well. Take the time to reinforce this skill
by doing little things, such as halving your brownie with your child, letting
your little girl wear a pair of high heels around the house, or your little boy
play a special game on your phone.
Ask for them to share something with you as well, which only further
helps their understanding of the whole idea of what it is to be generous. Sharing is such an important social
skill that they will need for the rest of their lives. Start while they are young, make it
fun, stay consistent & model the act of sharing in front of them. Your child will begin to grasp the
whole concept over time, which will only set them up for success in the future.
Brandi Watterson
Owner of Brighton Academy
10400 Gosling Rd.
The Woodlands, TX 77381
281.465.4111
www.BrightonAcademyKids.com
